Friday 13 June 2014

Silly Searches

One of the fun things about having a web site is looking through the statistics and finding the weird search search terms that lead people to it. Unfortunately, Google are now starting to block this information (presumably for devious commercial motives), so this activity will soon become a thing of the past.

Anyway, while I still have the chance, I thought I'd share some of the search terms used on the Possum TV webcam server and Youtube channel (for some reason Blogger logs almost nothing).

For the most part, people are interested in possum sounds, possums mating or possum mating sounds. The majority of the search terms are therefore pretty predictable.


There is every possible misspelling of the word possum/opossum.

I understand we're dealing with a search box which automatically compensates for misspellings (thus making it unnecessary to correct obvious typos), and I don't want to criticise others for bad spelling when my own spelling is terrible; nevertheless, the sheer creativity involved here is quite impressive.

and there's also
brushtaled possum
There are also searches where typos and/or the use of a foreign language make it difficult to determine what they were looking for.
qlod sound of possums mating
might be a typo of QLD?
overly brushtail possum
is that lovely? ornery?
how did these match up to anything?
atakes pesto m pesto m
Google Translate can't even tell me what language this is meant to be.
kusu lišcí
Google Translate thinks this is in Zulu but it's probably Czech since it matched to a movie of Svejk. In Czech this apparently translates to "piece fox".
is "bitching" in Portugese
australian opossum theet
This one matched to the "Drunken Brushtail Possum" movie. Maybe the search engine detected drunken typing (although they got both "Australian" and "opossum" correct, which is a good effort).
possum steaking up on you
is that "sneaking"?
pester pest kind
might be German for an annoying child
gooie poiuts for pumkln

For some reason, there seems to be a surprising amount of interest in snoring possums:
possum snoring (7 times)
snoring possum
(4 times)
snoring possums
snoring possum sound
possums snoring sound
sound of possum snoring
sound of opossum snoring
possum snoring and scratching
and also
possum yawn
As you might imagine, there is significant interest in angry/fierce/attacking possums:
possum attacks
brushtail possum attack
ringtail possum attacks
possum attacks on humans
I almost got attacked by a possum
mean possums
angry possum
australia possum angry
angry brushtail possum
brushtail possum angry
brushtail possum growl
at home fighting with a posome
oppusum chases woman
brushtail possum fighting off bats
possum bite marks
possum eating snake
possums biting a dog
possum bite mark on dog
possum eating all its prey
and apparently sugar gliders are pretty fierce too
sugar glider nipping
feral sugar glider
sugar glider invasion
scary sugar gliders
scary sugarglider
sugar glider bit by another
Plenty of people want to see fights. Generally they just search for variations of "possums fighting", however some are looking for a little more variety.
brushtail possum fights snake
kiwi fights off possum
raccoon vs possum fight
guy fights possum
possum fights dog
opossum and pirana
piranha vs marlon1
python fight
Some of the searches give a worrying glimpse into other peoples minds. I suppose you don't necessarily have to be a sadist to be curious about something like:
snake eating possum
snake eats possum
python eat possum
python killing a possum
what would kill the possum
Similarly in New Zealand, where possums are harvested for fur, someone might have a legitimate interest in
possum plucking
cards involving killing a possum
is someone doing a Tarot reading and
paralysed possum
sounds like the name of a band. But what are we to make of the following?
possum juggling
possum thrown
brushtail cruel
video of baby animals being killed
[3 times]
baby animal eaten
baby eaten by mother
baby eaten by the mother
mother opossums attack her baby
mother opossums eat her baby
baby possums in distress
baby possum kill
baby possum deceased
shooting a possum with babies
possom on a sticky trao
     [I assume this is a typo for "sticky trap"]
distressed trapped possum
possum distress
possum in distress
brushtail possum fight for his live
the hanging
hanging cam
opossum vore
Vore, by the way, derives from the word "carnivore" and is porn involving people or animals being eaten. Welcome to the Internet.

And on this theme, there seems to be a particular interest in pythons.
pythons eating animals
python eats alligator
child ate by python
children eaten by python
18 foot python attacks child
python kills baby
python eats baby
worker eaten by python
python eats man
python ambush
and of course
python vore
The "Kiki Back Rubbing Dance" video continues to attract people looking for:
rubbing dance
rubing dance
back rub dance
who probably didn't find what they were seeking. On a similar theme,
those searching for:
dominant black male pics
exhibitionist female
are beards for male dominance
sleeping male feet, today
probably didn't get they wanted either.

Finally, some random ones:
lychee ninja
dog dancing rubbing back   
spotty bedding kids
spock inquisitive face
are there badgers in nj
baby alien found in mexico opossem
opossum riding puppy
possum pest his mother
possum eyeballs
bald possum
supercillious manner
orange baby pumpkin possum
dexter orange beard
kizaru chasing blackbeard
flailing possum
possum coffee
ear biting
lext and the kiki
the pest part 1
ginger is alien
git outta here possum
possum on back legs
alien baby scares mother
australian alien baby

possum balls

world's weirdest-oppossum birth

an opossum jumping into the air
fleas falling off a cat and dog in the bath
baby that looks like a frog

1 comment:

  1. I had to stop eating breakfast three times, I was laughing so hard reading this.